Is this physical abuse?

I live with my boyfriend. He is 38 and i am 31. We both have been in this relationship for 2 years now but have moved in together for 5 months. To cut the long story short - my bf hit me and I am feeling tremendous pain all over my body. This is what happened. My bf used to be talking about our marriage before i moved in but now he doesn't even utter a word about it. I feel bad that he doesnt' want to talk about our future when i am the one sittng and worried about it. When he comes back from work, he will havehis dinner, watch TV and go to sleep. I will be yearning for his touches and love and to spend time with me, but his concentration will all be diverted to the tv or his work. I am only living with him like a maid where i prepare food and drinks, clean the house and go to work. My family is asking me about my marriage and i normally take all the blame on me like as if i am delaying it. No one knows the real reason that my bf is not taking any initiative to even talk about this or to plan our future. Last night i could not sleep and i was using the net. He offed the internet line and told me to sleep. I really could not sleep and i asked him why he is not spending time with me. Arguments started and I was hit on my head with the pillow, he slapped me, hit me on my back with his hands, pressed my face on the bed and pressed my brea*t so hard I could not take the pain and was crying in pain. He told me i was acting that i am in pain and because I am fat, i should not feel any pain. I became breathless and started to grasp for breath. He was not there when i was in pain. After an hour he came back to my room asking for forgiveness and I told him to leave me alone and not bother me. He went to his room and slept. I have to go back home today and I dont know what to do. He will push all blame on me and make me feel miserable again. fyi, we never had sex before as he believes in sex after marriage. I am really deprived and lost for words here. Breaking down and crying since last night.Is this physical abuse?
He believes in sex after marriage, but apparently believes in beating before marriage. Leave now.
Yes, it is emotional and physical. You need to get out NOW. This will NOT change, much less get any better and you deserve WAY better than this. Even being alone for awhile is better than this.Is this physical abuse?
If your story reflects the whole sequence of events ,then yes,it is physical abuse. Though I do not want to sound as if I do not believe you,if you hit him ,then he has the right to hit you back although it is not a choice that I would suggest that he take. Nobody--male or female--has the right to hit another person and expect not to be hit back as everyone feels pain.While his desire not to have sex before marriage is admirable,it does not explain his refusal to discuss your marriage and his feelings about it. I will suggest the following options for you based on all that you have written above: 1) If getting married is important to you ,then ask him again and demand an answer even if it is a negative one. 2) If his response is not to talk to you about it as he has done before,then you have to decide if you still want to live with him and pursue this romance especially since he gives you no physical or emotional comfort. 3) Since he has hit you physically,you should leave him and find a guy who would meet your needs and desire for the type of relationship you want.Plus you should not accept his calling you names like you are fat as that is abuse as well4) Tell your parents the truth. Tell them that he would no longer discuss marriage with you so you do not know how he feels about it. There is nothing here for you to be ashamed of. 5) Finally ,on the off chance that he asks for your forgiveness and you find yourself wanting to remain in the romance,then ask him all the questions you want answers to,get his promise not to do the things you detest anymore,and then let him know that you will leave him if he continues in the negative behavior. By the same token,if you are guilty of the same things as he is ,you also have to put a stop to your own behavior. Do not cry or break down,just do something along the lines I have mentioned above or anything else you have.
Okay, u don't want to marry this guy. It's love you want, and he isn't giving u it so why stay with him? Ik the pull the cards, " well I'd die without u or we have been together so long please let's move on" he doesn't love you in the right ways. Maybe u are in love with the IDEA of being in love. No man should ever lay a hand on you and honestly I'd sue and move on with my life. He's not ur father and ur not his maid. Some guy out there will love u for who you are, not for what u do for them. Please dump him for ur own good. You can't pretend he will never do it again, it will continue. Even in front of your kids. That will lead to a bad relationship and he sounds like he doesn't even want marriage. He's using you and beating you. U didn't even do anything wrong. Please pack up and leave him for good. He is terrible to you and u shouldn't love anything about that. Your still young and there are guys out there who will love you and never hurt u. Please move on. He's nothing but a ticking time bomb :/ sorry to be blunt here but he's abusive and doesn't love u. He wouldn't do that if he did. Good luckIs this physical abuse?
yes dear.. Thats abuse.. And it will get worse.. I dont care about being heavy.. Or skinny.. Short.. Tall.. Its the same thing.. Abuse.. Go back to family.. Stay away from him.. Im sorry dont cut it...
This sounds all bad darling.

I've been in a similar situation and it never gets better. Once a hitter always a hitter because once you condone him hitting you than he thinks/knows he can do it again and you'll still be there. He'll get use to treating you that way and you'll get used to it to and the vicious cycle will continue.

Men who talk down to women and hit them are pathetic and incapable of truly loving a women.

Leave now before it's to late. You deserve to be treated so much better than this and deserve a man who loves you as much as you love him.

People only treat you the way you let them treat you (hope that makes sense)

Keep your head up and stay strong beautiful girl.
Do you really want to be with this man for the next 50 years and his abuse?? Getting married is NOT going to change his behavior it is only going to get worse. You deserve a loving, kind, giving man so do not settle for this abusive relationship. Its time for you to leave. Do not stay with this man because you want to be married.



You are in a abusive relationship and need to get out asap. If you are in the USA then call the national abuse center 800-799-SAFE to talk with a counselor 24/7. if you are not in the US then google domestic abuse center and your city name.



It is very hard to leave a abusive relationship because the man has manipulated and control the victim for so long she does not know which way is up and which way is down. These men use brainwashing literally, mind control, reward and punishment, projection, fear, to name a few techniques to keep the women from leaving.



1 in 3 women are in a abusive relationship and 80% of them will remain silent about the abuse. Please open up to your family and friends about what is going on in this relationship you will need their support to leave this man and also your boyfriend is going to try to manipulate them into believing you are the problem.



google:



laurablogspot.com read through her journal left column with "years"

saferelationships.com read the articles

lovefraud.com read the stories



read the book: how to spot a dangerous man (see amazon)



DO NOT tell your bf what you have learned from these sites/book your life could be at risk



Please reach out for more help call the abuse center asap they will help you with an exit plan. Please remember that the most dangerous time for a women in abusive relationship is when she leaves so you must get help from the center for and EXIT PLAN.